How People get to your Blog

So As I am looking at my blog stats, I look to the bottom of the page where it says Search engine terms. Since I’m not that savvy with the blog (meaning terms and such. I just write) I really didn’t understand what the stats or feeds mean or which is better. Which means people are actually reading your blog as opposed to just like viewing. (I don’t know the difference)

But I see it states on the Search engine terms

• “These are terms people used to find your blog.”

Cool. BUT as I looked at these terms, I was shocked. The terms that some people use to search for whatever they are searching for is quite funny but puzzling and a tad disturbing. Here are some examples

Search Terms for 7 days ending 2006-06-29 Today Search Views period poop 1 my mom jumped and her big boobs bounced 1 Yesterday Search Views hips dont lie shakira music from you tub 1 2006-06-27 Search Views 2006-06-26 Search Views hate heavy periods 1 2006-06-25 None 2006-06-24 Search Views watch videos online of people having ha 1 hot wax is not your friend 1 2006-06-23 Search Views head waxing 2 peon4life 1 how to get hot wax out of hair 1 2006-06-22 Search Views email story about a woman who was waxing 1 escrapbooking 1

So there are my terms. Interesting to say the least. But I guess since my blog is a mish mash of wonderful stories and rants from Advertising to the Great Aunt Flow and her Period Poop side effects. But I really want to know what the person looks like who looked up “Philadelphia hair removal butt wax”

So What are some of your Search Engine terms? Oh and here is another random animation for you.Oh and for the many of you that are concerned for my well being from the Great NJ/PA Flood (yes i know i can count you all on one hand) We aren’t in the vicinity of any danger yet. The Delaware River is rising a bit near us, but we aren’t in any danger. Just feel bad for the blokes that it did hit. Especially the place I interviewed at for a job. Main Street in Manayunk got flooded, the place where I was hoping to work. Maybe I’ll hear back from them next week.

Tags: Blog ; Search Engine Terms ; New Jersey Flood 2006 ; Humor

If you were Angelina Jolie…

Who would you save if you were in a burning house and could only carry one child out? They are all in the same room all in the same crib. Who would you take?

Ah-ha! Great question…..

So?

Tags: Angelina Jolie ; Entertainment

Advice for those going into a business career

As I sit here a year later and just barely started my career in advertising, I started to think back at the actions I could’ve taken to jump start my career. I kind of took advantage of the whole “I’m just going to relax and enjoy my senior year” and not take anything serious. Boy was that a huge mistake. I now look back in regret. I wish I did that, If I only did this, If I just kissed ass more often.

I’m not one to really take orders to well so I am adjusting to being told what to do. It’s hard. But I am working on it. So what I decided to do is give a few notes to those that just graduated or are about a year away from graduating. This may apply to all different fields but I can only speak of my field and those closely related to it. (Advertising)

1. –NETWORK–I think this is the most important. If you are going into the business field it helps to know who are the bigwigs of the field. Know where they are and what company they work for. It also doesn’t hurt to know what they have done personally. SO when you know who they are, send them an email. Tell them a little bit about yourself. If you are bolder than most, send them a little something. Join your colleges clubs or local area clubs. I was apart my college ad club, and am apart of the Philly Ad club. There are always events going on, and that is the place to go. Meet the people. That’s what they are there for. To network. So you should network. But make sure you know what you are talking about. Throw some jargon out there. Let them be impressed with what you know and what you know about them.
2. –Read everything that has to do with your field. You will become knowledgeable in what was done in the past, what is being done know, and what will be achieved in the future. It helps to be on top with the trends. Maybe know more than those that have been in the business for years. Impress them with the knowledge you have read.
3. –Obtain an internship–Either during your college years or right after graduation. Usually this will land you a job. It happened to most of my friends. If they didn’t get a job from the company they interned for, they got a good recommendation and a job somewhere else because of the experience they gained. This is crucial, this will show you have more than the average graduate that just went through college hoping to get a job after the party years are over.
4. –When applying for a job–Find out who the“inside person” is. If you are going for the account side, find out who the Senior AE is. if you are going for creative find out who the Creative Director is, etc… This will most likely get you seen a lot quicker. But make sure when you send your cover letter, make it personalized. It seems like you took more time and effort to actually write a personal cover letter to the particular inside person. Let’s face it, when you send your resume to the HR department, they never read it. They send it through a software program that read specific keywords. SO make sure at the end of the resume make an area that just says “Keywords” and put all the adjectives that describe you but can also be picked up by the software. After it gets picked up, most likely it gets seen by a pair of human eyes. For example: On my resume After my “References” I have Keywords: then underneathe it I have stuff like “creative, team-player, proficient, type-A personality, work well with others, problem solver, etc….
5. –Print A LOT of Resumes–If you think getting a job right out of college is easy, I’m just gonna burst your bubble. I’m gonna say about 97% of students that graduate do not get a job in their field right away. Albeit from taking the summer off or people just not hiring you. So Make sure you print a lot of resume’s out. I’d say a good 150 resumes are good. Sure you can always email them but when you go on those interviews ALWAYS bring your resume and your references and anything else that has shown your abilities, like a portfolio or recent work you did for your internship. The people that usually get a job right out of college are those that show dedication at the internship and that company finally decides “Hey I might as well pay them for their work now, but only entry level work”, or if you know someone that can just give you the job and you usurp the whole interviewing process because your daddy knew the president of the company. “My friend Shlok got a job right out of college because his dad had a friend in the marketing business. So He moved from NJ to Cali, worked their for about 6 months and now has his own Marketing company that works in association with the parent company” Now how Fucked up it that? 23 years old and a president of his own company. He didn’t pay his dues, he was just given this life.
6. –Own a good suit—You will be using it alot for alot of the interviews. It will be worth it. That suit will be the thing that gets you the job. It is your first impression, so make it look good. If you are someone with piercings and tats and purple hair, Take them out, cover it, and dye your hair to a normal color. First impressions are everything. Look “normal” to an extent but make them remember you through your personality. After you get the job, then maybe you can return to the purple hair and piercings…MAYBE.
7. –When you have your interview, send them a thank you note afterwords.– I don’t think a lot of people do this in general. This will help them remember you and notice you care about this position. Maybe even send them a little box of candy. A little bribe never hurt. It shows you have the cajones to go after what you want.
8. –Get your foot in the door–no matter what your job is that you get after college, if it’s in your field but not what you are looking for, take it. To get into the advertising/marketing/PR world it is very hard. I learned I have to pay my dues before I get to do what I really want to do. Even if it’s for a small company and a gopher type job, take. Do it for a year, then leave. You just showed that you are willing to learn what there is to learn and you have a commitment to what you didn’t really want to do. Shows you are well rounded and dedicated to the field. This will look great on your resume and your track record.
9. –Don’t expect the Money–You won’t be making $40K/yr, you won’t make $35K/yr, You may be lucky to make $30K/yr, but that is only if the cost of living is high in that particular area. Expect to make about $25-28K/yr when you first start. Remember you are a PEON! you do PEON work. YOU DO ALL THE WORK AND GET NONE OF THE GLORY. It’s just a fact. Deal with it. This field is nasty and you need to watch for yourself and expect nothing in return. Sure I was making $32K/yr in NYC but take into account I spent about $400 for transit a month, about $200 a month for food/daily expense, that’s $600 a month. That was 1 week pay. BUT then there is city wage tax, federal tax, and my NJ tax. YES all taken out. My 2 week paycheck came to $951. So if I did the whole formula it would be: Salary $32,000.00 – $7200 = 24,800. BUT you need to take taxes out. Lets just say about 18% for all taxes. SO $24,800 x .18= $20,336. That is what I have left to pay my car, rent, grocery, utilities and my insurance. Not a lot of money. Also, just because you got an offer in the BIG CITY make sure you take into account the cost of living. They may offer you $32K and another, smaller, less known place offer you $26K/yr, the $26K may be better because you don’t pay city tax, it’s close to home, and it’s just cheaper to live where you currently are instead of trying to live in the city. (My friend lives and works in Ft. Lauderdale. She makes $26K/yr and she still bartends on weekends because the cost of living is just ridiculous. So think before you get blinded by the Big City Lights like I did.)
10. –Appear enthusiastic–I don’t think I really need to explain this. This just shows the positive nature you have for the field. Shows you want to learn, shows the eagerness. Then, if you are a pessimistic person or a loner, you can return to your normal self afterwards. But one major thing I want to say is that three is a fine line between Enthusiasm/eagerness and Annoyance. What I mean about this is when you send out resumes, and you will send out a lot, you may only get a few responses. Let’s see, I sent out about 80 resumes (only for agencies in my area) and I only got about 10 to 15 at the most, replies. But a reply is good. Make sure when you send out a resume, send another one about a week to a week and a half later. then if nothing about another 2 weeks later. I was just annoying, I sent one ever week. I may have appear desperate and a bit stalkerish. But just try to figure out that line. Everyone is different.
11. –Practice your interview–Practice what you are going to say. You don’t want to just sit there and appear uninterested or dumbfounded. Ask questions, talk conversationally, and talk about the business/field itself. Know about the place you are interviewing. Just practice on the way to the interview. Appear relaxed on the outside even if you are nervous on the inside. Never let them see you sweat.
12. –Don’t get discouraged–You will go on tons of interviews and probably won’t hear back from most of them. If you go on 20, you’ll be lucky to hear back from at least 5. And be lucky if they call you back for a 2nd interview. It’s a rough business and you aren’t the only one looking for their first career.
13. –Don’t take the summer off– Alot of my friends took the summer off before they looked for a job. Some are still looking for a job. This maybe fine for some but for those that want to get into the business it’s a good idea to look for the job while they are in their spring semester. The interview process is long, and alot of people tend to panic if they don’t hear back from the place they interviewed at (Like me). It’s hard enough to get into the field, but it is even harder to compete with those that just have a little more experience than you. Remember if you take the summer off, you may just have to compete with the next batch of graduates.
14. –Read the magazines on your field–. I read Ad Week and Ad Age and visit my local ad club website (www.phillyadclub.com). If I see an agency acquire a new business I send them my resume because they may need a couple positions filled. A lot of these agencies don’t run help wanted ads on Monster.com or Careerbuilder. They hire from within or ask their employees if they know anyone or even go back to their College Alumni’s for hiring. That is why I made sure I kept in touch with all my classmates and my adviser. We all let each other know who is hiring and what is going on where we are. But if you must use a website job search,those are ok but I prefer Talent Zoo it’s probably the best for people in the field of Communications. So use it well. Plus they have alot of other things on their site to help you keep in the know.
15. –Keep in touch with your mates–You never know. Like I said previously, if you keep in touch they will remember you and what you did. They are your “in”. Use them. They are your first Networking circle so use it to your advantage.
16. –As an Aside–If you are going into the creative side of communications Find out the types of programs they use so you can practice and become knowledgeable of the software. Nothing more surprising when you tell them, sure I know how to use this and that.

So I hope this helps. It has helped me rethink my whole strategy after I just finished writing it. So Good Luck and Good Job search. Oh and here is a random animation for you.

TAGS: Advertising ; Marketing ; Communications ; Advice ; First Career ; Graduation ; Jobs

What is true Happiness?

This picture pretty much summarizes what my blog and my life has been like. It’s been a non-stop journey that I can’t quite get to my destination. I can see my destination but I’m not getting any closer. This is me, my blog, my life.

So, my life has been crappy lately. I don’t have a job. I mean I don’t regret not working in NYC anymore because it was my choice to leave because they were Dickwads, and I just don’t have the mentality of a New Yorker. I’m more laid back. I do my work and it gets done when it has to get done. These people, however, have a stick up their ass because they think if you don’t do it right away the world will end, OK granted they think Manhattan is the world, but they can just suck it. NYC isn’t what it is all its cracked up to be. It is so overly glamorized that non-New Yorkers think it’s just the place to be. Really it isn’t. If you are wanting to do theatre or um become a bum on the side walk, this is the place for you. Because NY is so ridiculous on rent and shit, you can never live there unless you make at least $40,000 to live comfortably by yourself in a tiny studio.

If I had the money, yes I would try to live there for a year, but I don’t. Plus I can’t deal with the attitude without me punching at least one of the natives out. The water is like so not drinkable, the city smells of sewage, even after they send their garbage to my state of NJ. and its just like a bunch of cockroaches in the city. Too many people in one little area.

So what is true happiness. I guess it’s when I stop bitching about my situation and my surroundings. I haven’t stopped bitching. So I’m not happy. I will find a job near me in Jersey or Philly. And I will be happy with suburbia for a while. Until I need to find a man get married and move to the country. I just want to eventually get out of this whole life I have here and be happy in the country where I have an apple orchard and a sunflower garden. I want to see the seasons change. I want a loving husband and loving children that play sports and do their homework, get good grades, go to homecoming, and just be apart of the community. I don’t want to worry about danger or crime. I want to be able to sleep with only my screen door latched. I want 2 dogs and maybe a horse.

I want my dream. My happiness. But that my just be that, a dream. If I can just attain just 1 of those things, I’ll be happy. I don’t ask for much. I just want happiness.

TAGS: Life ; Happiness ; Blog

Day 3 and 4 of the lose or die

Yes I forgot to update yesterday. It was a stressful day. Just alot of family problemsgoing on. Financial crap. And anyone that has had an money issues knows that money will ALWAYS cause problems. Anway, here is the update: and a random animation because we all need visual stimulation.

Day 3—-if I can remember correctly—i have a bad memory seriously. but I did walk for about 20 minutes then the rain came. I ate ummmmm….what did i eat? Not alot. I was hungry lke a fiend though. But ya. so thats all I remember

Today—Day 4——I had 2 hotdogs, w/o the bun. No carbs. Walked for about 40 minutes in the icky humidity. Ate cucumber salad and celery with peanut butter for lunch. And had some baked chicken for dinner. That be all. OH and I drank alot of Water….so much i feel like a diabetic peeing so much.

And another reason I hate diets so much, your bowels are like weird…So I’ve been having the runs lately. Ewww gross!!! …well get over it. EVeryone does it.

I suggest reading Everybody Poops by Some Author person, to get over the disgusting idea of the runs.

Anyway that be all…Tata, tootaloo, cheerio!, Tchuss!, hasta luego, Sayonara, Au Revior, um..bye.

TAGS: Health ; Body ; Diets

Day 2 Of Lose or Die

This mornign woke up. My blisters felt fine. Took some vitamins and got ready for my walk.

Walked about 1.5 miles today before it started to rain. Got a little wet, and my MP3 needs new batteries. Note to self-buy new AAA batteries so can continue walking this week.

After I got home, I had a bowl of Rice Krispies for Breaky. Then went with my mom to the store to get stuff for a BBQ later today. Bought myself a salad for lunch. so that’s another $3.83 I am adding to the debt I owe my mom since I don’t have a job yet. Hopefully I get to hear from them this week if they will hire me.

Got home from the store and ate my Salad. Still a little hungry but will wait to eat at dinner.

On the blister note- The blister between my big toe and 2nd toe ruptured in a way. I felt the squishy in my shoe at about the mile mark of my walk and was pissed because I had to walk back home with the pain. Grrrr.

Update for later tonite Coming when I get back from work.

****Back from work**** (Update + Random animation)

Bought a weird drink. Made of soymilk, oatmilk, bananas, and crushed almonds. Suppose to taste like Vanilla and Almonds. Not quite. Damn Health drink taste like Scheit! Anyway, had some chicken and steak, no carbs though. Just meat. Feet still hurt like balls, but will get use to it.

Oh and I’m developing shin splints. Yay! havent had those since track in High school. Oh well , that is all for now.

TAGS: Health ; Body ; Diets

Day 1 of Lose or Die

I don't own a scale so I don't know how much I weigh. It's just alot. That's all I know. So here is the breakdown so far. This post will be updated throughout the day:

Breaky:

eggs, toast, and corned beef hash. Ate in small portions. Will be doing aerobics in room to start sweating off some of it. Then move onto my 5lb weights to tone the arms.

***Night Update***

Ok well this afternoon I walked int he blstering HUMIDITY for about 45 minutes. I think it was that because of my MP3 player went thourgh 19 songs, and about 3 minutes per song is 57 minutes but I skipped like 3 songs cause they were too slow moving for me to walk. So I think about 45 minutes is a good estimate. And for my walking expedition I obtain 2 blisters, one above the heel area and one between my Big toe and Second toe. PLUS I have a wicked Blood Blister on the tip of my big toe. Wow, I am so in shape.

Tomorrow I will be walking int he wee morning so trying to miss the humidity that is so infamous of Jersey Summers.

Oh and for diner I had a stuffed Pepper. YUMMMMMM. 

TAGS: Health ; Body ; Diets

The Yo Yo Weight that is me

Ever since I was like 8 or 9 I had problems with my weight. In high school It was sort of plataeued because of sports, so I was thick but healthy. I had muscles but a curvy body. I loved my legs. I was fine with the way I looked even though I was still over weight. But ever since I left high school I've been so upset and depressed with the way I looked.

I've been on so many diets its just funny. I've been on the grapefruit diet, the slim fast, the trim spa, the green tea, the vinegar diet, the no carbs, the diabetic diet, atkins, all green diet, salad diet, fish diet, fruit diet…blah blah blah. And I have lost weight. but I have gained it all back and then some. It was never healthy. I remember starving myself. Feeling jittery. Sweaty, nervous, even tried throwing up the food I just ate. But that never lasted too long because I hate the feeling of throwing up. I could never be a bulimic…I always cry after I throw up so it would be a dead give away for my parents.

Right now I'm thinking about….no, I am going on a diet. For some reason I keep having a fear that I will have a heart attack while I am asleep. Earlier this year, on my mom's birthday, a dear friend of ours passed away. He was someone we knew for about 15 years. I really got to know him about 5 years ago when I joined the bowling league my dad was in. I was bowling in my mom's place because she developed arthritis in her knees. So we all became close like family. He was my Unk (Uncle). My dad's black brother. He was always the healthy one of the original Fair Lanes Crew (old bowling alley where everyone hung out). He even retired in 2005. He spent his days going to the gym, eating right…most of hte time, going to church, and just enjoying life (especially at the bowling alley). 

Well, on my mom's birthday I went to work. She called me up and let me know that she just got a phone call from our league president that George passed away.  I was shocked. I started crying at work in front of everyone. I completely fell apart. We found out that he had a heart attack. And we were just all in shock on how this was even possible when he was the one that took care of himself.

This is why I have a fear of getting one. I am considered I guess morbidly obese. I hate that term. But It's what I am. I need to do something if not just for this reason alone. But this isn't the only reason why I want to lose weight. My brother and mom , and my own personal vanity are reasons.

Like I said, my mom has arthritis in her knees and her being overweight isnt helping the matter. I don't want to feel the pain and be like my mom. So I want to lose the weight and make sure I have give my joints as little pressure as possible.

My brother has a kidney disease and my dad and mom are diabetic . Mom became one because of the weight. Dad became one early in his youth, diring his last few years in the Navy. It wasn't a weight issu, he ran 5 miles a day everyday when he was younger. My brother has a kidney disease that is very rare in people of his age. Last year his Kidneys have completely stopped working. Well not completely, they are both at about 10% working each. Your body can survive on 1 kidney at 20%, but not at 10%. So he has been on dialysis for about 1 year. He is waiting for a kidney.

The doctor said that he can't take my kidney because of the diabetic history of our family. BUT, if my brother needs my kidney and he is on his deathbed (I don't want to think about it) I NEED to give him one of mine. But the doctor said he doesn't like to operate on a person over a certain weight for fear of the stress the weight could put on the body. SO having one kidney would not be good.  So this is my other main reason why I want to lose weight. For my brother's life and for mine.

YEs, my vanity plays a role. Whomever says they don't care about what they look like they are lying. It's probably some skinny bitch saying that stupid comment as she is stuffing a pizza down her throat and will be throwing it up in 2 minutes.

I want to look good. I'm not saying I want the body of Jennifer Lopez, although that would be a dream come true, I want a healthy, tone, athletic body. I wouldn't even mid having Oprah Winfrey's figure. She is still womanly, but not too thin and not fat. she is normal.

But I guess my all time dream body would be that of Monica Belluci. An Italian Siren. Gorgeous, sexy, sensual, healthy. I just want to be happy. I want to be able to wear certain outfits. I want to walk without having my thighs rub together. I want the BACK FAT GONE!

So tomorrow, I will be walking. Walking for 30-40 minutes a day and eating healthier and smaller portions.  I will lose it slow. I don't want to starve. I will see a gradual change so my body can get use to change in lifestyle. I will dance in my room so I can get the cardio going. I wil just feel better about myself, and help make my life healthier and longer. 

For anyone that wants a some help I will be posting my daily/weekly (depending how often I update. I will try to begood and do it daily) Food in take and my exercise regime so you can see what I'm doing. Just check the page called "My Health Report Card". I would appreciate any feedback on what you are doing or something I can try.

Day one begins Tomorrow. God Help me. 

TAGS: Health ; Body ; Diets

Growing up is so overrated…. Part 1

I graduated Rowan University in May 2005 with a BA in Advertising. My sights were on becoming a copywriter. I was going to work for a big name agency and become famous with my quips and witty snarky tag lines. I was going to win a Cleo. I was going to make Oodles of mula and bathe in diamonds and pearls while half naked men fan me with tropical leaves.
This was my hope for my future. Granted I would be a late bloomer in growing up and making a life for myself at the age of 27, but hey I did myself. I paid my way through school. I paid my dues working at jobs that were meant for early 20 somethings just trying to earn money to party and drink while mom and dad still paid their bills.

What made me bloom so late? Well, lets see. I graduated high school in 1996. I was going to take a year off and travel the world. I have an aunt in Italy and she told me I could visit her anytime and she would fund my back packing expeditions through Europe. I was so stoked at this opportunity. How many people get the chance to do this? Not a lot, and especially not someone like me who comes from a blue collared family. Only rich, spoiled brats get to have an experience like this. But, I was going to be a rich spoiled kid for a whole year. I didn't bother applying to any of the colleges. I've taken the SATs for no reason. I wasn't going to bore myself with boring college essays or meeting with college recruiters. I was going to EUROPE! I was going to have cheese and wine on the grassy lawn of Paris. I was going to eat my spaghetti in a real Italian bistro. I was going to go to Oktoberfest and get drunk with the rest of the Germans. Yes and neener neener neener to all those rich bastards!

STOP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

My dad lost his job due to the enormous military base closing our horny, dumb-ass, redneck ex-president Clinton was doing. So, no income for the family, meant bills were going to pile up. Here is the Equation:

-$70,000/year + $1,000 house mortgage + Utilities + Car Payments + Insurance + Daily expenses + whatever else = DEIRDRE NOT GOING TO EUROPE

I was bummed. I wanted to go. I wanted to become cultured, but I had to settle for the culture of New Jersey. Yip-pie Freaking Doo! I knew what had to happen. I was bummed but I understood. My family needed me and my family is important, even if they drive me crazy 24/7.

So I got a job to support myself. It wasn't much but I paid my bills. I put Europe on the back burner for now to focus on family business. I was becoming a grown up. YAY for maturity. Yay for responsibility….NOT!!! It sucks. All my friends are in college because they applied. They did the essays and the recruiter meetings. They got scholarships and endless parties. I got a real life Clerks the movie. I was the video store gal. I think that is my official nickname. If I become a criminal that will be my alias. I'll be chased down by the Cops TV show and I'll be drunk and spewing nonsense from my mouth as I hum Inner Circle's Bad Boys Bad Boys Whatcha gonna do, Whatcha gonna do when they come for you!

Life is grand. So jump six months, I enroll at county college. I got a loan to pay my way through school like a lot of other students, cause my parents certainly can't afford to give me any money. They were trying to save the house from going into foreclosure (more on that later).

I going for my first semester during the spring. Yay! Fall semester is my second semester. I go to my classes and near the end of the semester with about 2 weeks left, I find out that my semester wasn't paid for?! What how can that happen? I still don't know. My loan was suppose to cover it but it never got to the school, blah blah blah. Not going into specifics because its too much to write and I know I will be writing a lot now so, saving the space.

Because I got screwed, somehow i went into default….meaning I couldn't take out any more loans to pay for school until this loan was completely paid for. So as my checks are getting garnish I am taking 2 classes a semester for like 3 years at a county college. I am going all year 'round. Fall, Winter (power pack Classes only 2 weeks long), spring, and Summer. ALL FOR THREE YEARS! After the 3 years, my loan was paid off. NOW I could finally transfer to a 4 year university. I got my Associates, now time for the bachelors. (that took another 3 years and $30,000 more in loans)

But I got my bachelors, all by myself. I paid for it. I got it. It's mine. I learned from my mistakes when it comes to an education. You really shouldn't wait. One must really get it right out of high school because you miss so much of what growing up is like at college. I never stayed on campus because I felt I was too old. I was 24 at the time I transferred. Too Old to stay in a dorm. SO I commuted 45 minutes a day each way. 70 miles a day. 280 miles a week! (I only went 4 days so don't leave a comment saying 5 times 70 is 350, dude I know)

But I was happy. Learn from your mistakes. And I did.

However, that's not all that sucks about growing up. When you grow up, you actually go through grown up problems. One of the major problems that my parents went through was a house foreclosure. We just fell so far in debt that we could'nt make the house payments anymore. When My dad lost his job, thanks to the moronic Bill Clinton and his ingenius idea of closing down military bases that caused the lost of 30,000+ jobs in the Philadelphia Navy Yard alone (my dad was 1 of those 30,000) we lost a HUGE income. my dad made about $70,000 a year. My mom only made about $17,000. She was just a deli manager. That was our "Full around money. Now that was our survival money. But since that's all we had we fell back in payments and we ended up losing our house.

We actually didn't have a place to stay. We looked and looked and couldn't find a home. We finally found a place to stay one week before we were suppose to be out of the house. We only found that house because my mom knew the landlords. So we hurried and packed our U-Haul and moved to the next town. Yes we have a house. We have a place to live. We were OK for now, because we all know life does not let you coast on by. It makes sure you are dangling from the cliff-side about to fall while there is a mudslide heading toward your from the other direction. Life isn't easy. Life pretty much sucks balls. But what is the alternative? Death? what fun is there in death? And don't say an afterlife with God or whatever, because we really aren't sure…we just hope.

ANYWAY, back on track with dad's job crisis, my dad ended up getting another job as a purchasing agent. But he went from making about $1350 a week to about $300. I mean come on. How hard does that hit a person. Especially a man. A man is SUPPOSE to be the bread winner of the family. My dad's ego must have been hit hard. He must have felt so little. I was crushed for him. I knew he was embarrassed. My dad left that job, trying to get a postal workers job. They make great money but my dad is a diabetic so he can't be on his feet too long. SO that job was a no go. But my mom new a guy who managed a convenience store and made decent money. about $40K/year. So my dad took that job. When he became manager he was bringing home about $500/week to start then it moved up to about $700/week. not bad. But my dad had to work about 80-90 hours a week because he didn't have that many employees. Now he does, BUT his feet have taken a hard hit.

With diabetics you need to care for your feet. the circulation is poor and wounds tend to not heal correctly or as quickly. My dad noticed about 1 year ago after he took off his right shoe and sock, the skin underneath his big toe came off. About the size of a quarter. Just slipped off. His doctor said to put antibiotics on it and soak the foot to cleanse it. But what my dad would do is soak the foot in the same soaking water as the night before.

DISGUSTING! I know. we didn't know this. One night when I walked into the computer room I looked at his foot and it was like 4 times the normal size. Just to give you an insight on my dad's mentality, he is country. They do home remedies and don't go to the doctors unless you have a protruding bone, have a heart attack/stroke, or on your deathbed. I'm pretty much the same way but I would so go to the doctors if I have a touch of elephantitis of the foot.

We finally convince him to go to the doctor's, and he yell's at us because he has to stay overnight…which turned into 2 weeks. My dad had a severe infection that may have gotten into the bone. The doctors were debating whether to amputate because of the severity. Once you amputate a diabetic, you will just continue to amputate simply because of the non healing of the wounds. It's just the way it is. So we are all crying and scared and doing the occasional "I told you so" to my dad. But luckily the doctors said they could save the foot. My dad was just going to be one STRONG antibiotics that had to be given intravenously everday for 6 months. Yes we had a nurse come to our house everyday and give my dad his medicine. It caused quite a stir. The neighbors thought my dad was having an affair with a woman because she came over ever lunch hour. Quite funny actually. Would have been hard to do though because my mom retired from working (more on that later)

My dad's foot has gotten better, but not completely healed. He still stands on his feet all day because he still manages the convenience store, but what can you do. You have to do what you have to do to survive. There comes a point when you realized the dreams that you wanted to pursue are just too far out of reach because of underlying circumstances of REAL LIFE has taken a hold of you. The world does not revolve around you, there a many people and events that make you who you are and make you do what you have to do because no one is going to give you anything in this world. No one will hand you your dream without some hidden agenda. The sooner you get that in your head, the sooner you can go to Plan B or C or D of your life.

I accepted this. I have made mistakes that I am still trying to fix. I have pretty much given up on my dream. I have given it up so long ago I can't even remember what it was. I'm just taking one day at a time even though the days seem like they are numbered….More on that in Part 2….when I get a chance to write it.

Preview of Part 2….

Mom's forced retirement, Brother's kidney disease, My emotional breakdown of life, love, and career.

GOD IT SUCKS!!!
TAGS: Life ; Growing Up ; Family

Pimping a New Software (it’s new to me)

I came along a software program after a guy named Jim commented on my blog. I went to check out his blog because it is only customary. So as I was looking at his page, I did the scroll down and saw this picture

(click it to see the site). So I clicked it as I hope you will too. I started to read and the irst thing I saw was "Free Download". Awesome. I'm all about the free DL. Before I knew what I was doing I started DLing before I knew what this product was. Then I started to read more about it. For someone like me who isn't that technically intelligent, I came to an understanding that it is like Microsoft Office, but with a few differences.

I don't know all the technical terms and how it was created with whatever computer language/system/whatever. When, I finished DLing it I started playing around with it just to get the feel. It's slightly different from MS but very easy to get the hang of it once you fool around on it. You won't need and basic Open Office classes to understand. If you know MS, you will now OOo. Plus, you can save the documents in MS formats because it is all compatible.

Here is the mission statement and the description from the Website:

Mission Statement

To create, as a community, the leading international office suite that will run on all major platforms and provide access to all functionality and data through open-component based APIs and an XML-based file format.

"Product Description"
OpenOffice.org the product is a multi-platform office productivity suite. It includes the key desktop applications, such as a word processor, spreadsheet, presentation manager, and drawing program, with a user interface and feature set similar to other office suites. Sophisticated and flexible, OpenOffice.org also works transparently with a variety of file formats, including those of Microsoft Office, and the vendor-neutral OpenDocumentOASIS. standard from

Available in over 65 supported languages with more being constantly added by the community, OpenOffice.org runs stably and natively on Solaris, Linux (including PPC Linux), Windows, Mac OS X (X11), and numerous other platforms. Our porting page lists the platforms (ports) that OpenOffice.org can run on.

Written in C++ and with documented APIs licensed under the LGPL open-source license, OpenOffice.org allows any knowledgeable developer to benefit from the source. And, because the native file format for OpenOffice.org is the vendor-independent OpenDocument open standard, interoperability is easy, making future development and adoption more certain.

For me, I understood a little of that, mostly just the middle paragraph. But hey, that's cool for me. Only problem there is no Open Office Outlook type deal, but hey, I have my own email. So this won't effect me as it is because I don't have my own business. But they seem to be adding things since it is an open community type deal. But It does look like I will be using this alot more than MS now.

Here is a blog list of people that are contribute to the site. Open Office Blog List

So start promoting Open Office.org. It's a free DL. What more could you ask for? You could always toss out a few hundred bucks for the new MS office Suite, but why?

Tags:

Computers ; Software ; Blog